Ian Merle Kilmer
November 20, 1935 ~ August 24, 2008
Resided in:
Leicester, NC
Asheville Butterfly Trail
IAN M. KILMER
Ian M. Kilmer, 72, of 113 Reeves Road, Leicester, died Sunday, August 24, 2008.
Mr. Kilmer was a native of Binghamton, NY, and was a son of the late Juanita and Roger Kilmer. He graduated from Broome Technical School and Elmira College and he was an Army veteran. He retired after 35 years with IBM as a program analyst in Owego, NY and more recently worked as sales manager for the Laubeck Corporation in New York and Pennsylvania. He moved to the Asheville area in 2003.
In this area he was a member of the Parish of St. Eugene Catholic Church and a fourth degree member of the Knights of Columbus. He was a civic volunteer and served as a trustee for the Brick Church in Leicester and for the Leicester Community Center. He also worked as a volunteer builder with Habitat for Humanity.
Mr. Kilmer had been an athlete all his life, from high school, through college, and even winning medals on the state level at the Senior Olympics.
He is survived by his wife, Gale O. Kilmer; one daughter, Kelly K. Harding; three sons, Randy Kilmer, Kevin Kilmer, and Barry Kilmer; one step-daughter, Holly Gale Millette and one step-son, Christopher George Millette. He was preceded in death by his twin sister, Ionna Kilmer, who died in infancy and by a brother, Gary Kilmer.
A Funeral Mass will be celebrated by the Rev. Fr. John Schneider at 3:00 p.m. Friday at the Parish of St. Eugene Catholic Church.
The family will receive friends at the church two hours prior to the Mass.
Memorials may be made to the Brick Church Fund, c/o Peggy Bennett, PO Box 53, Leicester, NC 28748.
Groce Funeral Home on Patton Avenue is assisting with the arrangements.
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Sept. 28, 2008
Dear Gale,
After talking with you two days ago while you were suffering through one of life’s darkest hours, I was relieved to learn that your Ian is the same man who, for most of my life, bore the high standard of that name. For years after I (then a lowly seventh grader, and an even lowlier ‘manager’ of Vestal Central High School’s ‘Golden Bears’ football team) never knew another man by that name. He lived up to the reputation of his name, meaning ‘God is gracious’ in Hebrew, a forerunner to the name of ‘John’. I still harbor images of this quiet self-assured giant of a man, standing his ground, towering over all in the quarterback slot when he was assigned that. Others on the field scampered like frantic ants. Even then, he was gracious to this skinny, uncoordinated water boy hauling an open bucket and long-handled ladle; never arrogant, never pulling rank or ‘attitude’ of a senior varsity man. One time, after others had gulped and spat out the water and I was turning back to the bench, he quietly said, ‘Jim, may I have some?’ He knew my name, on, and off campus. Always, the unflinching look in his eye, when he quietly said, ‘Hi, Jim.’
As I write this I see that my short encounters with Ian were more spiritual than I realized.
That was about it, as far as my acquaintance with your Ian. It was ever so short, but very long ago. As I said, he was the only Ian I had known until life took me on my life’s journey far from ‘the rippling Susquehanna’ shores of Vestal. I was curious when I read the obituary for Ian Kilmer in the Asheville paper.
As you conveyed your devastation over the the abrupt loss of Ian, your husband of only five years, I am reminded of a conversation I heard 46 years ago between a wise old professor of homiletics and the wife of seminarian who was a telephone operator/receptionist. Her husband, while serving as a decorated Navy pilot, had decided to study at Princeton Seminary to prepare to be a Navy chaplain.
The professor, Dr. Paul Scherer, while sorting through his mail in the reception office, asked: ‘Mary. Are you coming over to hear Jim give his senior sermon this afternoon?’
She said she didn’t think she could take the time off for that… and, ‘Besides,’ she said, ‘We have the rest of our life for me to do that.’
‘Will that be long enough?’, the professor asked.
As I work through my own sorrow for your loss, I guess there are two things that come to mind:
—Life on earth isn’t long enough for any cherished human relationship; and,
—We never know the impact each of us has on another life whether it be longstanding or, just in passing.
God-inspired moments can be long-termed or short; and, neither is more important than the other. We should cherish each moment, be it a few seconds, or a life-time long.
I very much regret that I cannot be at the Mass, as much as I’d like to be. As I may have mentioned. In my life now, I am learning to cope with health issues that force me to manage my energies.
It will be a special day for all. As you know, August 29 is the Feast Day of St. John the Baptist. No coincidence that it is the very day we celebrate the life of Ian.
God bless you and your expanded family.
Pax,
jim kalbaugh
James A. Kalbaugh, OblSB
Sept. 28, 2008
Dear Gale,
After talking with you two days ago while you were suffering through one of life’s darkest hours, I was relieved to learn that your Ian is the same man who, for most of my life, bore the high standard of that name. For years after I (then a lowly seventh grader, and an even lowlier ‘manager’ of Vestal Central High School’s ‘Golden Bears’ football team) never knew another man by that name. He lived up to the reputation of his name, meaning ‘God is gracious’ in Hebrew, a forerunner to the name of ‘John’. I still harbor images of this quiet self-assured giant of a man, standing his ground, towering over all in the quarterback slot when he was assigned that. Others on the field scampered like frantic ants. Even then, he was gracious to this skinny, uncoordinated water boy hauling an open bucket and long-handled ladle; never arrogant, never pulling rank or ‘attitude’ of a senior varsity man. One time, after others had gulped and spat out the water and I was turning back to the bench, he quietly said, ‘Jim, may I have some?’ He knew my name, on, and off campus. Always, the unflinching look in his eye, when he quietly said, ‘Hi, Jim.’
As I write this I see that my short encounters with Ian were more spiritual than I realized.
That was about it, as far as my acquaintance with your Ian. It was ever so short, but very long ago. As I said, he was the only Ian I had known until life took me on my life’s journey far from ‘the rippling Susquehanna’ shores of Vestal. I was curious when I read the obituary for Ian Kilmer in the Asheville paper.
As you conveyed your devastation over the the abrupt loss of Ian, your husband of only five years, I am reminded of a conversation I heard 46 years ago between a wise old professor of homiletics and the wife of seminarian who was a telephone operator/receptionist. Her husband, while serving as a decorated Navy pilot, had decided to study at Princeton Seminary to prepare to be a Navy chaplain.
The professor, Dr. Paul Scherer, while sorting through his mail in the reception office, asked: ‘Mary. Are you coming over to hear Jim give his senior sermon this afternoon?’
She said she didn’t think she could take the time off for that… and, ‘Besides,’ she said, ‘We have the rest of our life for me to do that.’
‘Will that be long enough?’, the professor asked.
As I work through my own sorrow for your loss, I guess there are two things that come to mind:
—Life on earth isn’t long enough for any cherished human relationship; and,
—We never know the impact each of us has on another life whether it be longstanding or, just in passing.
God-inspired moments can be long-termed or short; and, neither is more important than the other. We should cherish each moment, be it a few seconds, or a life-time long.
I very much regret that I cannot be at the Mass, as much as I’d like to be. As I may have mentioned. In my life now, I am learning to cope with health issues that force me to manage my energies.
It will be a special day for all. As you know, August 29 is the Feast Day of St. John the Baptist. No coincidence that it is the very day we celebrate the life of Ian.
God bless you and your expanded family.
Pax,
jim kalbaugh
James A. Kalbaugh, OblSB
Gale, my heart goes out to you. May you find deep peace as you remember the love and enthusiasm for life that Ian shared with you.
Dear Gale,
Please know that my heart is with you today. I know that Ian made you very happy. Please let me know how I can help you.
Love, Steve