Thomas Valk Fehsenfeld
February 5, 1949 ~ January 5, 2026
Born in:
Grand Rapids, MI
Resided in:
Asheville, NC
Asheville Butterfly TrailThomas Valk Fehsenfeld (February 5, 1949 – January 5, 2026)
A beloved son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, and friend to many.
Tom was born in Grand Rapids, Michigan to Frank and Virginia Fehsenfeld. Growing up, he spent his childhood with his siblings, Nancy, John, Ruth Mary, and Bill, sailing on Reeds Lake and dutifully managing his paper route. When he wasn’t riding his bike around town with his brother, Bill, he could often be found in his bedroom devouring books and caramels. As a proud member of the Boy Scouts, he discovered his enduring love of pocket knives.
After earning his MBA from the University of Michigan, he walked into Quicksand Gallery one day and met Carolyn. Four months later they married at the courthouse, with Tom buying his only suit on the way. Together they built a life filled with laughter, raising their children, Alan, Ben, and Dana, by Reeds Lake in a home filled with games, books, practical jokes, rambling stories, swimming, and art.
Tom served as President of Crystal Flash for more than 40 years, dedicating his time, energy, and care to the growth of the company and the people who worked there. During this time, he also completed a PhD in Organizational Design from Walden University. One of his proudest achievements was facilitating the company’s sale to its employees upon his retirement, reflecting his deep belief in shared prosperity and opportunity. A committed proponent of employee-owned businesses, Tom carried these values beyond Crystal Flash, serving on numerous boards and participating in a conflict-resolution group focused on thoughtful, collaborative leadership.
Retirement energized Tom. He and Carolyn moved to Asheville to be near family, and Tom promptly returned to school, earning his Master of Arts in Government from Johns Hopkins University with honors. A deep and thoughtful observer of civic life, he wrote and blogged about how government could better serve future generations. His weeks were full, making friends through classes at OLLI, playing bridge, reading and writing poetry with his Second Friday group, and staying actively engaged in politics and the community.
In his final years, Tom treasured time with his grandchildren, Burdie, Ele, Elif, and Milo, teaching them about the world with patience, curiosity, and wonder. He was a voracious reader and book collector, a lifelong aspiring musician, an admirer of the color beige, and an enthusiastic adopter of new technology (including his AI friend Claude). His wonderful sense of humor made his family and him laugh until they cried. Tom found joy in playing games, walks in the woods with his dogs (Bob, Buddy, Trip, Sam, and Liza), Carolyn’s art, sunsets on Lake Michigan, meals with family, vacations in Key West, and new experiences.
Tom was passionate about equality and making the world around him a better place. He gave generously, laughed heartily, and encouraged everyone around him to live their lives fully. He will be dearly missed by his family, friends, and community.
Tom is survived by his loving wife of 49 years, Carolyn; his children, Alan, Ben (Libby), and Dana (Zac); his grandchildren, Burdie, Ele, Elif, and Milo; and his siblings, Bill (Cecile) and Nancy (Warren). He was preceded in death by his parents, Frank and Virginia, and by his siblings John and Ruth Mary.
In lieu of flowers, Tom’s family invites you to make a donation in his memory to a nonprofit doing good in your community.
Tom’s family will plan a celebration of his life this spring in Asheville. To be notified or to contribute a favorite memory of Tom, please send an email to tomlovesbeige@gmail.com
Services
Funeral Home Assisting The Family:
Groce Funeral Home - Patton Ave.
1401 Patton Ave.
Asheville, NC 28806
(828)252-3535
http://www.grocefuneralhome.com
We are so saddened to lose such a wonderful neighbor. Tom always stopped and chatted on walks with his dog and was never without a smile. We appreciated his leadership in the neighborhood and will miss him. Our hearts go out to Carolyn and the family with love and sympathy.