Judy Whitman Elliston

Bruce & Family,
So sorry to hear of Judy’s death. We extend our deepest sympathy and offer our services in any way that we can be of help. Our prayers are with you.
Warm Regards,
Elaine & PJ

Joel,I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mother. Although I no longer work at AFHC,I think of you often. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dear Hearts,
I am so terribly sorry. I cannot imagine how painful this ordeal has been. What can I do to help you?
Please know you are in my prayers.
Love, Melanie

Bruce-
The love and commitment that you and Judy shared for each other and your family has been an inspiration for me since we have met. It is hard to believe Judy is not here sewing or baking something and adding her wit and humor to the world.
I love you and Alan and I are here for anything you and the family might need. Please call on us.

Love-
Judy Hoffman

Dear Bruce and Family,

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and have my most heartfelt condolences. Judy was truly a remarkable woman that left a lasting impression on everyone that ever knew her. She will be greatly missed.

May you find comfort in the memories that you shared and may God give you peace in the difficult days ahead.

Warmly,
Beverly Morgan

Bruce,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We will miss her every Christmas when we remember the reideer magic food that she used to send to my children every year.
The Gonzalez family

Bruce
I want to express my deepest sympathy with your loss.Judy was such a wonderful, loving person.
Bob Wells

Sending my deepest sympathy to your family. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~K Gibran

Dr. Elliston, My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time, I am so sorry for your loss. May you take comfort in knowing Christ is with you through it all. Pam Suarez

Dear Bruce and Family, I was so sorry to here about Miss Judy. She was my inspiration so many times. She always had words of encouragement for me, she always was so considerate of others. She touched my heart so many times and ways!! I consider you all my family, and I want you to know I am as close as my phone for any and all of you. Judy will be missed, but she will ever live on in so many hearts. Deb and Darrell Fox

Mrs. Elliston always lovingly opened her home to me when visiting Asheville. I will remember her kind and gentle nature. My thoughts and prayers are with her family and friends.

Our thoughts and prayers are with all members of the Elliston Family during this very difficult time.

I am very sad to hear of Judy passing, she was a beautiful person and I have very loving memories of Judy and how she loved her children. I will never forget Brian spending time with my son Brad over the years. She will always be remembered as a person I will never forget. Much Love To All of Judy’s Family.

Dear Bruce, Jon, Brian, Joel, and Jennifer,
We are so sorry for your loss. Judy was such an incredible, loving, and beautiful lady. She gave so much to others that her acts of kindness could have filled up many lifetimes of the average person. She was a million times more amazing than average in every way. I will never forget her and everything that she has done for me–from teaching me so much about being a lady to her encouragement while I was getting through college and her advice during my recent wedding. Judy is most definitely an angel now and in a much more peaceful place. May God be with you all through this difficult time and if there is anything at all that Tommy and I can do to help you now or in the future, we will be there.

God bless you,
Shannon Watkins Cure’ and Tom Cure’

When Judy passed away last Friday, October 6, 2009, I lost a very dear friend. Judy has been my friend since the early 1980’s, and I will miss her compassion, thoughtfulness, openness, creativity, hospitality, wonderful cooking, beautiful voice and great sense of humor. Judy loved people, was genuinely interested in how others were doing, and spent so much time and energy giving to, sharing with and loving not just friends and family, but strangers and those in need.

Judy loved her church, and freely shared her many talents at church and church functions. I accompanied Judy on the piano for her to sing for church services, funerals and other services, and Saturday afternoons at a nearby nursing home. Many years ago she loved to occasionally assemble a choir, choose the music, conduct choir practices, and lead the choir for special music for a church service. Judy thoughtfully chose songs for each occasion. She sang with emotion and conviction, usually with tenderness that would touch my heart. For Judy, singing wasn’t just about hitting the right notes at the right time; it was about communicating the message of her song in hopes that her listeners would also learn to love the God she loved and served.

Judy was also a great kitchen general, and I loved to serve in her army. She was a wonderful cook with huge hospitality and leadership gifts. She could organize and orchestrate huge church-wide meals, which is still very impressive to me. She was organized (assembled everything that was needed), delegated cheerfully, gave clear directions with humor, worked hard, and made sure that all her helpers felt appreciated. It was fun to work in the kitchen with Judy!

She would also prepare delicious snacks or meals for our children’s ministries, such as Vacation Bible School, Pathfinders and Asheville Kids, Inc (AKI) – usually for about 80 kids. Judy would also initiate celebrations for wedding showers, baby showers, birthday parties, etc. to help friends and family celebrate important milestones. She did this not only for friends and family, but also for church members who she did not know well. She served with a spirit of infectious joy and warm hospitality. When Judy could no longer work in the kitchen, she offered to greet guests to be sure they felt welcomed. She knew how to make anyone feel at home and was genuinely interested in people.

Judy frequently visited my mother and me while my mother was dying of cancer in our home. Towards the end of my mother’s life, I hauled my keyboard into my mother’s room so Judy and Billie could sing the songs planned for her funeral at her bedside. This was so touching and meaningful – an encouragement for both of us.

In June, 1992, Judy and Billie Scott drove all the way the Charleston, SC for the weekend so they could sing at my mother’s funeral. Their music made the funeral service so special. They also helped and supported me through a very tough weekend and were part of my family.

Judy, Josiane Dalton and I have had regular breakfast or lunch “meetings” since our children were young. We have laughed and cried together, shared our problems, brainstormed solutions, prayed for our children and for each other, and shared our joys, fears and sorrows.

A year or more after my mother’s death, a big stack of my mother’s boxes dominated the center of my basement. This bothered me not only because they were in the way, but because I knew that needed to sort and store my mother’s things. I’m ordinarily a pretty strong person, but didn’t have the emotional strength to deal with these boxes. During one of my breakfast meetings with Judy and Josiane, I shared my feelings of stress and conflict about the boxes. Judy immediately said, “OK, get out your calendar. What day can I come over to help you?” And she showed up to help me sort and clear the boxes out of my basement, which was a huge relief to me.

In the spring of 2004, during another breakfast meeting, I told Judy and Josiane that Jill (our daughter) had called us the night before to share that she had just gotten engaged. But both Jill and David were full-time dental students, Jill would have to sell her condo and move her stuff, and they didn’t know when they would have time to plan a wedding. Judy immediately said, “Then we will have to help them so they can have a wedding. I’ll help with the packing.” Josiane said she’d love to have the wedding shower. I called Jill that evening and shared this conversation. Jill said, “We could do it if we had help.” And they had a lovely wedding four months later, thanks to the help of sweet friends.

Judy’s awful illness was horrible beyond belief, especially for a person who likes to be in control and give (not accept) help from others. I understand, because I am cut out of the same cloth. Judy and I would talk about how hard it is to need and ask for help from others. She was so worried about being a burden to Bruce and her family. But, as Judy needed more help from others, she learned to graciously accept it. It was never easy for her to lose another function or ability to do something, but her faith kept her strong. She loved Jesus and knew that He loved her and would come back to take her to heaven to live with Him forever. Reading from the Bible brought comfort; when I visited, she would ask me to read Bible verses to her to strengthen her hope and peace.

Judy loved her ladies’ Bible study group which met on Monday mornings at our church, and made the effort to get there whenever she could – which was most of the time. Last year she asked our group to pray over a letter which she was writing to her children. She wanted so much for them to know the God that she had learned to love and trust and to understand God’s free gift of grace. She wanted to communicate in a loving, respectful, but candid letter which would not offend her family. Our group prayed for her, for the letter, and that her family would receive the letter with the same loving spirit that she was writing it. Judy loved her family, enjoyed every minute spent with her family, and hoped to be reunited with her family and friends in heaven. At Judy’s request, our group has continued to pray for Bruce, their children, and all of our children – and, of course, we’ve been praying for Judy.

As Judy became weaker, our group offered to meet at her house; however, she insisted on getting herself to the church. On the Monday before she died on Friday, she got up early and asked Bruce to get her ready to go to group. She was ready to go by the time Barbara, her nurse, arrived. She was weak from respiratory crises and was having trouble speaking and breathing, but she was determined to go to group. She arrived on time, listened to others, spoke her opinion several times, and made some humorous comments. During our prayer time, sitting in her wheelchair with an oxygen canula in place, only able to say a few words between labored breaths, Judy thanked God for all of her blessings and prayed for all of our children. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the room. She made a superhuman effort to get to her group to say goodbye and to remind us to be thankful despite our circumstances.

In this life we have friends who can be placed along a continuum or line of intimacy. We have superficial “Activity Friends” who we do things with, but with whom we do not share our heart secrets. They are real friends, but not close friends. At the other end of the continuum from our “Activity Friends” we have our “Heart Friends”. These are friends who know your warts, scars, fears, neuroses, values, beliefs, faith, weaknesses, strengths, and family and love you anyway. In your whole lifetime, you are blessed beyond measure if you have the privilege of having 2 or 3 “Heart Friends”. Judy was one of my cherished “Heart Friends”, and I will miss her terribly. I loved Judy and she loved me. I loved her family and she loved mine. It doesn’t get any better than that.

Bruce, My prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.

Dear Bruce, we are saddened to learn this morning of Judy’s death. May the peace of God be with you and your family at this time.
Robert and Lynell Bell

Dear Bruce and family,
We are so sorry for your loss. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Joe and Juanita Ball