Nathan James Goss

Nine months ago I was standing here in this sanctuary discussing the loss of our brother John. As you all know and as I said here John was a unique and talented individual. What was not said at that time was one of the major reasons John turned out the way he did. That reason was another talented and unique individual our dad Jim, Jim was not mine, Kathy’ or John’s biological father, but he was and is the only real father we have ever known. As I tell my psychology classes at the school I teach, any man can father a child, but it takes a real man to be to be a dad and that is what we all called him ‘dad’? or pop, because no matter what we asked or whatever boneheaded thing we did he was always there for us. I knew Jim since he married our mom in 1977 and in all that time he never said the first cross word to any of us kids. He put up with many situations many lesser men would have walked away from and always hung in there no matter what.
Jim’s life work was upholstering furniture and as far as that went there was no one better, he could take a piece of furniture you or I would figure to ready for the junk pile and turn it into something that looked like it just came from Ethan Allan. And just like my brother John, Jim probably gave away more labor than he ever charged for. I believe the way to a life that people will remember is to show others the right way to do things. ‘I can still hear him say son, here let me show you the way to do this the right way’? He always said to me if you can’t find the time to do it right the first time, how are you going to find the time to do it over?
I will conclude with a typical story of some of the times I spent with Jim, many times I picked up furniture with him in an old van he had he first started his shop. Some of the customers lived way up on Sunset Mountain with driveways so steep the old van would just spin the tires and wouldn’t make it up the drive. On one such trip we had to walk up the drive probably a half-mile and bring a hide-a-bed down to the van. Well some of those things weighed 300 or 400 pounds and this one had castors on the bottom and Jim said son lets just roll it down to the van and put it in, well that thing got away from us rolled all the way down the drive and hit the road and was still gaining speed we jumped in the van and started chasing it down sunset mountain and finally caught it when I went oven an embankment and almost ended up in another houses living room. His words to me were Lord a mighty whatever you do don’t tell your mother.’? So I now feel like my other buddy is gone now. Dad you left us much too soon, we love you, we miss you, and a couple more stories are safe with me.

I wish I knew the man that you are speaking of but unfortunately I never seen this part of him I and the daughter that he decided to walk out of her life on I don’t know why nor do I understand why he chose not to love me or my brother he divorced my mother not us I never seen him but three times after they got divorced once when I was young and another time after I had my daughter I finally found him and wanted to introduce him to her I thought maybe he would want to be a part of my life again and hers he was shocked to say the least that I had found him tried to stay in touch with him but clearly he didn’t want to be in touch with me I tried reaching out to him one more time that is when he gave me a check for $500 and telling me that he wanted nothing else to do with me that he owed me nothing more so that’s the father that I know not the one that you speaker I don’t know why he chose not to love me nor my brother I guess those are the demons that he fights with now but it does feel my heart to know that he was capable of loving his other family I did not write this to same on him nor put him down nor bashioum cuz it one time when I stood at the window waiting to hear my mom say daddy’s home maybe that’s the father that I missed that I could have missed I do Wonder if any of you beside your mother new that we existed to the father that I could have missed into the one I never did R.I.P Daddy