Thomas John Havey

thomas havey

September 23, 1936 ~ June 23, 2023

Born in: West Philadelphia, PA
Resided in: Asheville, NC

Thomas John Havey was born in West Philadelphia on September 23, 1936 to Leona Violet (Krueger) Havey and Richard Havey. On June 23, 2023, he died peacefully in his Asheville, North Carolina home. Tom had one older brother, Richard White Havey, who preceded him in death. Thomas, known to his many relatives as Tommy, lived with his paternal grandmother, parents and two aunts during the Second World War.

Tom grew up in Philadelphia and then moved to Maple Shade, New Jersey during his senior year but chose to graduate from his Philadelphia high school. Since the time he was 5-years-old, Tom always had a job either delivering newspapers or selling song sheets on the street corner. An avid athlete, Tom played football for his high school and township. Immediately after graduating from West Philadelphia High School in 1956, he enlisted in the United States army where he was stationed in Japan as a manual morse intercept operator. During this time he attended the University of Maryland, Far East Division. Tom joined the National Guard through the 1950s and 60s. While on a rest from the Army, Tom attended a Billy Graham Crusade and gave his life to Christ, changing him forever as a committed Christian. After his service in the Army, he worked various jobs in New Jersey, Pennsylvania and California.

While attending classes at Temple University night school, Tom met Sandra Goldstein (who passed away in 2020) and they were married on July 11, 1964. Thomas and Sandra moved to Mount Laurel, New Jersey where the two were highly involved in the Mount Laurel Jaycees; Tom served as president of the Jaycees for many years. From 1970-1978, Tom owned several race horses that ran at various race tracks on the East coast.

The couple started a family while staying active in their community through church, pinochle, Bible studies and schools. After a few years as a salesperson working for Mrs. Paul’s Kitchen, Tom started his career for New Jersey Bell Telephone Company in the marketing department. While living in Mount Laurel for most of his adult life, Tom attended Easton Union Church and Fellowship Alliance Chapel where he was active in many Bible studies, Sage Group, singles groups and various service projects. One sport that Tom started late in life and continued into his 80s is snow skiing. Tom skied a few times in his youth; however, he became an avid downhill snow skier when his children started skiing in their teenage years. To spend intentional time with his children, Tom worked hard making snow skiing a family sport which became the focus of many family vacations.

In 1998, Tom retired from the telephone company and enjoyed traveling to see his children and grandchildren all over the world and the United States. His interests included day trading, Scripture and biblical topics, exercise and socializing. Tom taught each of his grandchildren to play Pinochle which they enjoyed for hours. Many people enjoyed Tom’s quick wit and sense of humor; he carried around with him an attitude of contentment, peace and an easy going spirit.

In 2021, he relocated to Asheville, North Carolina to live near one of his daughters, Rebecca, and her family. Tom remained active in pinochle groups, exercise classes at the YMCA, Connect group and Biltmore Church. Tom’s greatest joy came from spending time with his family. When asked to name one thing in particular he would like to pass down from one generation to another, he said, “To exhibit our Lord’s great Love.”

Thomas is survived by his daughter, Pamela Havey Lau (Brad Lau) of Newberg, Oregon; Son, Daniel Goldstein of Jerusalem, Israel, and daughter, Rebecca Elizabeth McDowell (Steve McDowell) of Asheville, North Carolina. He is also survived by his six grandchildren: Michaela Brynn Lau Semple (Joshua R. Stonaski Semple) of Loma Linda, California, Annalise Havey Lau of Salem, Oregon, Gabrielle Elizabeth Lau of Spokane, Washington, Parker Lawrence Pulliam of Asheville, North Carolina and Ava Elizabeth Pulliam of Asheville, North Carolina and Max Markus McDowell of Asheville, North Carolina. Cousins surviving Tom are Margaret Schaefer of Maple Shade, New Jersey, Chloe Webb of Little Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey and Jill Godwin of Maple Shade, New Jersey.

A service and memorial of Tom’s life was held on Saturday, July 8, 2023 at 3:00 PM at Groce Funeral Home at Lake Julian 72 Long Shoals Road, Arden, North Carolina. To view the recorded service, please click the link just below the obituary text. His family received friends at the funeral home on Saturday from 2:00 PM until 3:00 PM. Burial at Calvary Churchyard was private.

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Funeral Service: July 8, 2023 3:00 pm

Groce Funeral Home at Lake Julian
72 Long Shoals Road
Arden, NC 28704


Visitation: July 8, 2023 2:00 pm - 3:00 pm

Groce Funeral Home at Lake Julian
72 Long Shoals Road
Arden, NC 28704





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  1. Always made me smile. Always saying things Jewish to me and he would then grin and tell what it meant. He was so witty and so very nice . I will miss him!!

  2. Tom was my best friend as we go back a long ways. We enjoyed many adventures together. I enjoyed is wit and company. Even when I left New Jersey he let me stay at his place when I went back for a visit and he stopped to see me several times in Missouri. I will miss chatting with him on the phone. One thing I did not know about him was that his middle name was John as that was my first name.

  3. I only met Tom in early June in a Pilates class at the Y. When someone introduced him to me he opened his arms wide for a hug. When I told him my name is Becky he said, “My daughter’s name is Becky.” I said, “My dad’s name is Tom!” We were immediately fast friends. He would watch for me to come to class to put his mat beside mine and I would help him understand the instructions from the teacher on how to move his body and help him grab his props. He was always so gracious and would give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. On Thursday, the 22nd we had a nice talk as we walked out of the Y together. It’s hard to understand how he passed the next day. He was so vibrant! We bonded quickly and our time together was short
    I miss him and still look for him in the spot he would wait for me. Love and peace to you Tom and peace to all of you who loved him!

  4. I truly enjoyed getting to know Tom when we played in a Pinochle group together. I was so impressed with his Skill and Memory. He almost ALWAYS won the last hand (and extra points!) because he always knew what cards had been played. I was very happy to see him attend Gentle Yoga and Pilates classes at the Y. Like Becky, I was shocked to see him happy and healthy in class on Wednesday, then gone on Friday. So sad, but happy that Tom was able to live a full life all the way through. He will truly be missed

  5. Tom and I met at Fellowship Alliance Church. We were active in our singles group Barnabas and enjoyed our Christian singles dances. You were a really good dancer, Tom! He was always smiling, pleasant, easy to get along with….You are truly going to be missed. Love you Tom! Lauren Raffo

  6. God is our refuge and strength. (Psalms 46:1) May the depth of your faith and the love of those who share your loss comfort you at this time of sadness. Tom’s smile and faithfulness will be missed from the Owens’ Connect Group at Biltmore Church. With sympathy and prayers.

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